THIS WAS THE DAILY UPDATE PAGE*
Do you care wha'sup wit my life back then, yo, you should. Ah'ight.
October 31, 2004: Two days till election day, count them, two days! I hope you registered. It may not be the apocolypse that everyone is saying it will be but it is going to make a difference. It all boils down to do you want a change or are you okay with the way we've been going.? Of course if you want neither then, when it comes to mark your ballot, that little place to write of type in your vote, put OPRAH WINFREY, but just freakin' vote, or when it comes time to complain you better keep your mouth shut.
October 29, 2004: It says alot when surveys show that educated people are voting for Kerry, and uneducated people are voting for Bush. I have no evidence to back up this statement other than I heard it on the radio, but in this race that's all it seems to take.
October 14, 2004: Oprah for President. Yes, that's right, Oprah Winfrey for President of the United States. www.Mcfooch.com says it all, or at least it eventually will. Don't like Bush? Then you're smart. Don't like Kerry? Well, he is the lesser of two evils. Don't like either? Then vote Winfrey. Write it in on the ballot box, and sleep better knowing that when it comes down to it you can say, "Don't blame me, I voted for Oprah!".
August 8, 2004: So, I'm reading Al Franken's Lies And The Lying Liars That Tell Them. Its quite entertaining. It definitely makes me think more about the extremes in politics. The Liberals, and the Conservatives and the wackos that both have produced. It also makes me think that I am neither of them. Good lord they argue about the stupidest little discrepancies, like the misspelling of "discrepancies"... discrepencies? discrepancies? Bugger it. I understand that a bipartisan government can foster better choices to the masses, but why do you have to be one or the other. Yes, I am more liberal than conservative but I also happen to think some great policies come out of the conservative party. But I don't want to be in either of your stupid groups. I registered independent so you #@?*ers would stop bothering me about the fact that I should vote for your party because it says so on paper. I'm making a new party, its called the liberatives. And no, Nader, you can not run underneath it. You're screwing things up as it is, but that is your right, so... in the words of Foochie McFooch Fooch, "BALLS!"
July 22, 2004: Christmas in July is coming. I didn't get you anything. Deja Vu.
July 21, 2004: Okay so I am here. I finally got internet access and so I am now up and running. Let me just start by saying wireless internet connections can be a pain in the ass. I like wires. I know where my connection is going to and how good the connection is. Wires comfort me. I like to be comfortable.
July 2, 2004: Big move today. I shall miss living with Mark. Best roomate ever. I won't however miss the little brat about 5 doors down from us that crys and whines all day. Or the can crushing in the early morning. Or the drunken fools falling all over themselves as they walk back to their dorms. Or trying to get a parking space on the street after 6pm. Or the Asian Pop music on repeat at all hours of the morning, day and night. But I will miss living with Mark, he made living in I.V. fun.
July 1, 2004: Whoever is Mcbean@gmail.com... I hate you.
June 9, 2004: You know what though, it would be cool to join forces with a robot. Yeah, a big robot, in the guise of a big Black woman. Yeah, we could be a crime fighting duo, and she could say cool things like "You don't OWN me!" as she rips bad guys arms from their sockets, or "It ain't no problem shugga!" as she throws me seven stories up in the air to get into the bad guys lair, which would be on the seventh floor. At least I hope it would be. That would be awesome. And then in the series finale, she would get reprogramed and it would be a battle to the death between us, in which I would ultimately have to destroyer her. And then it would flash to ten years later where I'm all settled down and I've named my first son after her. Yeah.
June 7, 2004: And if you are a robot what kind of powers do you have? Do you stand for good or for awesome? Would you like to join forces... I'm sorry, had to be done.
June 6, 2004: My gaming community is closing. This saddens me. This is me, sad. Can you see the sadness in my typing. Watch, here it is. I'm sad. There did you see it. Okay, I'll do it again. I am sad. Right there! Of course I changed "I'm" to two words, "I am" which I think brings out the sadness a little more and also adds a bit more deepness to the sadness because it shows that I took a little extra time to write out the extra word. So, to wrap up, I'm sad. Okay you had to have seen it that time. If you didn't your a robot.
June 5, 2004: So as I was reading a... book, I came across a part that talked of good and evil. Apparently Good and Evil are man made creations. So my question is, does the person who invented Good get paid a royalty over time a boyscout helps an old lady across the street? And does the person who invented Evil get paid when that old lady steals the boyscout's wallet while he's helping her across the street? And did he invent both good and evil, or did one guy invent good and a knock off competator create evil? Well if they are getting royalties then the person who made evil must be loving the Atkins Corporation. Damn Atkins.
May 29, 2004: I don't like the sound of vaccuming. I find it annoying. I have never liked the sound of a vaccum. The high pitched sucking and low run of the motor. It's just grating on the nerves.
May 25, 2004: Blah blah blah, haven't updated... etc. So, I love big black women. Yes I do. I love the whole "Shugga" talk and the circular head motion and booming laughter. Now, I know that this is a stereotype but its a great stereotype and I mean with the utmost respect. When I finally reach the pearly white gates (after Clint Eastwooding my way out of hell) I will ask to be brought back as a big jolly African-American Southern woman. Mmmm hmmm, you better believe it cracker! Finally when I say "you don't own me", with my hands on my hips and my big brown eyes wide and accusing, Mark won't be able to make fun of me.
March 29, 2004: My least favorite question at work. "Do you work here?" What the #@?* ! I wear a badge with my name on it with the company logo beneath that and I walk around answering peoples questions and ordering employees around. No, I do not work here. I am just a really nice guy to other customers and a serious @$$hole to other employees. Come on people, open your #@?*ing eyes.
February 19, 2004: V8 is not a thirst quencher. It may taste like heaven in your mouth and be right good for you, but it sure does not tame the parched soul. Six V8s later and I'm still complaining of thirst. I love you V8, but maybe you should bring out a V9, with electrolytes or something. Or better yet make it cheaper. Maybe eight of them would have done the trick, but I couldn't afford eight of them. I wonder if there was ever a V7 or maybe a V1. Oh, wait of course there was, that would be tomato juice.
February 17, 2004: So I accidentally wrote the wrong update date in the corner on the home page.. I said it was last updated on the 19th. Uhhhh, so in case I miss it, Happy February 19th everyone.
February 10, 2004: The geese are taking over the driving range. I'm serious. There are at least a dozen and more every day. They just congregate on the driving range. The part that the balls are landing on. Now I know geese are mean, but are they really that stupid. They're just waddling around the range honking away at each other. I wonder what they are saying. Most likely something along the lines of "WHY THE #@?* ARE WE HANGING OUT ON A DRIVING RANGE WAITING TO BE NAILED BY A GOLF BALL?!!!" Good question dumb@$$'s. And the real kicker is there is a pond on the course. It's like they're the mob. A foul Cosa Nostra if you will. They squat where they want to. #@?* everyone else. Yeah, well tell that to my golf ball Chachi.
February 9, 2004: So Mok's brother got him this CD clock radio that is water resistant so it can come into the bathroom with you for Christmas. It's nice. Although I can't really use it for when I'm showering because I shower early in the morning and I don't want to wake Mok up with my music if I don't have to. But when it's time to take a $#!* well then, crank up the volume. It's great because its a CD player too, so I can listen to my favorite songs while I make a doodie. Ah nothing like Journey while I'm on the pot. Now that is music to take a $#!* to.
FebUary 2, 2004: Do you like the star background. Good. Me too. Who am I kidding, I'm only asking myself. That's why its a good thing I do like it. I'll bet the other two of you didn't even notice. Shame on you.
February 1, 2004: I don't like how February is spelled FebRUary. It's bloody pronounced FebUary. No extra "R" in there. A silent "R" if you will. Some stupid pirate must have thought up how to spell it. Freaking pirates.
Addendum to February 1: Pirates are awesome. I was just in a bad mood.
January 30, 2004: The question I need to be asking myself, and I'm sure your asking your self is, "why does my website look like a pair of girls panties?" This is a good question in which there are two answers. The first answer is, for Valentines Day decortations. The second answer is, so I can make the comparison of my website to a pair of girly panties. But seriously I'm not sure why I am decorating my website for Valentines Day, I hate Valentines Day. Yes, a day that was made to congratulate those who have someone and rub it in the face to all those who do not have someone. Thanks a lot @$$holes. But maybe I'm decorating this year because I do have someone, in which case I am a hypocryte and should be flogged. But why should I be flogged because I have someone? It's not my fault some girl could love such loveable closeted individual as myself. Oh don't give me that look, you're just jealous. Yes you are, I used to be in your shoes and I said the same things as you did, because I was jealous.
January 28, 2004: So I just saw that Butterfly Effect movie and I feel I need to give a review of my own. First off I would like to say that it was not that bad. Ashton Krughcva;lkj is not that bad in a serious role. He's no Johnny Depp but hes also no Jake Lloyd (you may think that is unfair because he was just a kid but so was/is Haley Joel Osmnet so shut your hole). The film has qualities of Final Destination (imagine that) appealing to a certain crowd, but there is more to it than mere gory deaths and effects spectacles. However the movie was depressing as hell. The writer of this movie gives you a feeling that he or she obviously thinks that all life is $#!*and that there is no escaping the $#!*tyness that you've been dealt and therefore to give in and accept it. Hmmmm make you feel like a cherry sundae doesn't it. But here's the real kicker. I enjoyed it. Mostly the fact that it was a rather depressing ending. It wasn't a bad ending, but it wasn't a happy ending either. I do tire of happy endings constantly in Hollywood because it is fact that there is not always a happy ending in everyones life. Sad, but true. So for some sense of truth I give The Butterfly Effect 2 1/2 stars (out of four stars).
January 22, 2004: Oh baby! I'm page five on Google® now. That's right it's taken a lot of comprimising my principals and integrity, but at least I'm climbing the ladder. Ahhh it's good to be able to see the top from underneath the boots of those who are already up there.
January 20, 2004: Windchill is just stupid. I don't care about the factors, just tell me how bloody cold it is!
January 14, 2004: Going to Detroit. No updates until I get back, well actually there will be no updates until the 30th and then all the ones that appear before then will be because I went back an put updates on that day from the 30th. And if you have a problem with that, then just go to the forums and leave your name and address in a post and I will mail you a full refund.
January 13, 2004: If I had Jenny's phone number, I think that would be awesome. "You saw my name and number on the wall? Which wall was it? The one with the rates or the one with the directions? Because the rates have changed. In fact so have the directions to my house. If you want the new directions you need to go to the bathroom wall in the Hardee's® in Stockton. If you want the new rates you need to go to the Mobil® station in Barstow right off the third exit. If you want both you can go to the little outhouse off of Zzyzx Road about a mile and a half off the highway. Fresno residents get a club discount. No, I don't have time to give you the new rates over the phone. I'm sorry, but if you want to prove to me you're not like the others before then you'll take the time to get the new directions and rates. Well if I'm the girl for you then make the trip. That's right tell your friends, for a good time call..." Or "Oh I'm sorry you want area code (911) 867-5309. No problem, happens all the time." Ah, dreams.
January 11, 2004: Glossary Updated!!! I really like three exclamation marks. One just never seems like enough, but three, yeah three, that gets the point across. For instance, "I steal funny words from Jeff !" or "I steal funny words from Jeff !!!" It's cool, Jeff doesn't read my updates. In fact, I'll bet Jeff doesn't even remember what the name of my website is. And one of you doesn't even know who Jeff is so it really doesn't matter, to you, but it does to me. I think I've made my point. !!! !
January 11, 2004(supplement): For an english major I sure do use a lot of commas, and completely in the wrong way too. I also keep putting 2003 as the year. I've changed it, that's why you haven't noticed... or cared... neither of you. Oh and Happy Birthday The Mike!
January 7, 2004: Ha ha! I'm back baby! That's right Google® reinstated me. I love you Google®. But really all this credit goes to Bob. She must have worked her connections to get me back in. Bob, I'm going to have james with you. I may be page six at the moment, but one day, one day mind you, I will be page five. And that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
January 6, 2004: Oh four. Gonna take about three months to get used to that. And I know I didn't update the site during last month as much as I had hoped to but that's okay. The two of you don't really care that much anyway. But I will postumously update it over the next few days.
Yeaaaahhhh, I'd like to see some more
*daily does not necessarily mean "everyday"