THIS WAS THE DAILY UPDATE PAGE*
Do you care what transpired in my life back then, you should.
November 30, 2003: Yes I'm a geek. Geeks are my people. Sure it doesn't matter now, hasn't mattered since high school and even then at my high school it didn't matter. There was no "cool group", everyone pretty much hung out with who they wanted to. There was never this underlining need to infiltrate the "cool group" and become one of them. I'd like to think I did hang out with the cool group, but I'm getting off topic. I feel most comfortable talking about computer games, and television, and certain games that required ten and twenty sided dice. Unfortunately when interviewing for a job, those are topics that hardly come up. When meeting significant other parents, geek talk a bit thin. Parole Board, most likely won't understand the charisma of 20 jokes, better save vs. anal rape. You've hit the jackpot if you're bank loan manager is into "The Sims®". I think that if there were more geeks in the world, there wouldn't be a need for war, we'd be too busy having it over a LAN connection with Orcs and Elves, and Medieval Humans.
November 27, 2003: I'm thankful for my friends and loved ones. "Loved ones" in the biblical way. No, I do not love my friends in the biblical way. But I do love them, and am thankful for them, unfortunately we just won't be having james anytime soon. Sorry James.
November 24, 2003: Days of the week are subjective. Say for instance you do not have the traditional days off that every other normal job should have, Saturday and Sunday. Say your days off are Wednesday and Thursday. Then when Tuesday comes along, it's not really Tuesday, at least not to you. No, it's your Friday. Just as Friday would be your Monday and Sunday your hump day (sicko). And then say for instance you are one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to work five days a week. Then you suck and should di-... I mean then you have a three day weekend every week (you bastard). So your days off could be Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So Saturday would be your Monday, Sunday your Tuesday, Monday your Thursday and Tuesday your Friday. What happened to Wednesday you ask. I got rid of it. Why? Because we didn't need it, just like "K" and "Z". Who really needs Wednesday? Monday is the beginning of the week and you really can't get rid of it. Say you did. Well then Tuesday would become your Monday just to spite you. We need Thursday, simply because of E.R.® and Friends. After all what would we do without "Must See T.V."? (Probably watch something else, just as the rest of America seems to be doing. "Must See" my fanny. I'm doing just fine without it thank you very much). Well, Friday we have to keep because Friday, I'm in love. Tuesday, well you could get rid of Tuesday I guess, but then Wednesday really becomes Tuesday anyways. It's all osmosis. Subjective osmosis. And who would give up one of the weekend days instead of Wednesday. A facist thats who. #@?*ing facists.
November 20, 2003: Apparently I swear too much. This could be true. I do have my moments. It all starts to get a laugh and then all of a sudden I'm saying "#@?* you lady, I don't give a $#!+ if you are a senior! Take your senior discount and shove it up your #@?*ing @#$. And not just your @#$, but your #@?*ing @#$. The @#$ that you #@?* with." Or "We've reviewed your $#!+ty application and we realized that we have no use for you lousy @#$ schedule. We don't like you so why don't you #@?* the #@?* off. Sincerely, the management. P.S. Go #@?* yourself." Now I don't think that is too extreme but the old lady nearly $#!+ a brick and the applicant decided to turn on the water works. Although, I don't think it was the language that did it. It might have been the fact that I was telling them both that they were #1 in sign language the whole time I was speaking to them.
November 20, 2003 (supplement): Did you like how I put rant in Christmas colors. Ahhh, tis the season...
November 19, 2003: Just to clear up any confusion, even though they booted me, I still love Google®. I endorse it. It's simple, comprehensive and still creative. Plus it has a huge hit rate. So Google®, even though you don't love me, I love you. Sincerely. And even though I don't understand why you've left me, I'm sure I'll pull through. We'll both move on, in a few years when we run into each other in some random site I'm sure we'll both have a good laugh over all this. Who knows maybe our children will visit the same university sites one day. I still love you Google®, and if you ever find it in your heart to reinstate me, I won't poo poo it. You complete me Google®. And if you aren't doing anything for Thanksgiving, the girlfriend and I would love to set an extra seat or two for you at her parents. I'll just have to ask her first, but I'm sure she'll be okay with it. She has a five seater so there's room.
November 17, 2003: Is it wrong to force the Christmas season to come sooner than it normally should. I want it to be the Christmas season, and I feel that I am straining too hard to get it to come sooner. Holy crap! I'm raping the Christmas season.
November 10, 2003: To start I would just like to say that that last update sucked. I thought about taking it down but then when I wrote this it most likely would have made you go "WTF?". And we don't want that. The royal "We". Anyways, Mark got a new car. Why you ask, well, why does anyone get a new car? To compensate for inadequate... things. I probably won't be getting a ride in that car now. That's okay, its a Miata. And we all know what Miatas are. Right. So, the Bible. It's long. And holy. Or is it Holy? Do you have to capitalize "holy"? I mean techincally it is part of the name and that does make it a "proper noun". Not like those street urchin nouns you see lying about, cluttering up books and essays. Tssk. And Bossk. What ever happened to Bossk. Doesn't get much play that Bossk. Not like that Dengar fellow. Mellow yellow, why is it hard to find out on the west coast. Is it afraid of all the gang wars or something. Red, green, yellow, white and black... yeah those are gang colors, I can see them wanting to avoid the affiliation. They need to invent dust proof everything. Someone get on that. If you haven't noticed, I didn't really have anything to talk about so I just figured I'd ramble on for a while. Yes my mind on paper... computer screen. Oh man, now I'm going to have to write another "that one sucked" next update. Shiiiii.
November 9, 2003: There is one bad thing about Christmas getting closer, the clock starts ticking on what gifts to get people. I'm really bad about gifts. I like goof gifts. You know, "Merry Christmas! A shattered light bulb to brighten your season!" Or "Nothing brings holiday cheer like a forty of Mickey's Malt Liquor. Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas sweety if you don't like your lap dance, you can return it if you like." The only problem is that old wood with rusty nails is not as easy to come by as you think. And unfortunately the greatest gift of all is very difficult to locate now. Who'd a thought the demand for Chia Pets would drop off the way it has. I thought that the Chia Head would have saved them, but I guess not. Oh well. This year will just have to be chewable vitamins. Mmmmm purple Dinos and red Freds.
November 8, 2003: Have you ever noticed that the Jive accent is just taking away the last letter or substiting it with an "A" at the end of it, on most words. Fo instance:
Shiiii, mo rai? Mother#@?*a. Jive ass turke' weatha ma (pronounced "MAE"), tyin to sla my ass an rui my Ba-B-Q.
Now don't get me wrong, I love it. If I wasn't such a Cracker I'd write a book called "Talk Jive Na Turke'". Alas I must only speak with an English accent. "Pip pip".
November 6, 2003: Happy Birthday Mom. Even though you don't have computer to look at my webpage but that might be a good thing because I don't think you would care too much for all the "biblical" and "schagudabah" references and would wonder who this James guy is and think that possibly Sarah is a cover... although I'm sure you would like the Larry Cafe. Anyways Happy Birthday Mom!
Novemeber 5, 2003: "...chastize with respect to civility, not sexual orientation. love is love, faith is faith. get over your fears." Word.
November 3, 2003: There are certain songs that should never have come into being. Songs that are associated with certain phrases that whenever they are uttered someone will burst into the song. You know the songs. Yeah you do. Everyone has their own. For instance, whenever someone says "Whatever" as a comeback, what comes to mind? "My United States of Whatever." Yes it does. When someone says "Alabama", of course, "Sweet Home Alabama". Believe me, Alabama is not that sweet. Who could forget "Super Califragilous to X. P.-alidocious", that song in that movie, you know the one. Or "Who let the dogs out?". I don't know who did, but whoever it was I'm gonna shank that cracker. "It's a beautiful day" I don't care if it was U2, I don't need that song echoing off the walls of my head. Any of the Beatles' songs. There is an expression for each, and even if there wasn't they still should have never come into being. That's right bring on the hate mail. Oh man I could go on with this forever, but I won't because all it will do is give you fodder to sling those expressions at me. Yeah, I know how you think, you bastards.
November 1, 2003: I've been preparing for Christmas. Getting the gifs ready. Planning the pages. I know, I know. I sound like a retailer. But I love the Christmas season. I used to complain that retailers seemed to skip Thanksgiving altogether and just start in on Christmas in November, but I don't care anymore. Bring on the Christmas season. I want to see lights and trees and smell the fresh pine scent. Fat men in red suits and people dressed as Santa. The cold air, the crisp clean smelling air of winter. No I won't forget about Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for the Christmas season. NOW BRING IT! Foo!
Yeaaaahhhh, I'd like to see some more
*daily does not necessarily mean "everyday"