THIS WAS THE DAILY UPDATE PAGE*
Do you care what happened to be going on in my life during this period, you should.
October 31st, 2003: It's raining on Halloween. What the #@?*. Not that I care because I shant be going out tonight, but I remember when I was a kid and it rained on Halloween. Man that sucked. My hooker costume would get all wet, and no one wants to get with a soaked street walker, and my brothers Superman costume would cling to him and he would complain about chaffing all night long and Dad would tell him to shut up and and tell me to shut up from telling my brother to shut up and the candy would get all wet along with the potatoes and razorblades that would get all rusty. I'm telling you it sucked. But then again, if I had to go through it, so should these kids. Whiny little brats.
October 27, 2003: Are we all Goku or Vegeta? Me, I'm Android 18. Why, because I'm hot and I want to get with Krillin. Did I just say that out load? Oh well. That's right, howl the eternal "Yes".
October 24, 2003: Correction: You can keep Michael Ian Black. I may have laughed once or twice at one of the thousand things he's said. Also be aware that a new section will be appearing on Mcbean.net. I call it the "What the #@&* Moment of the Week". Yes I am stealing it from the show, but only because it's pure genius. I haven't decided if it will appear in just the daily updates or if it will be in it's own new section. It most likely will replace the nonexistent "For Shits and Giggles" part of the Website.
October 22, 2003: Ahhh, I Love The 80's Strikes Back. I love that shit. I just can't get enough. The only thing I can criticize is Michael Ian Black and Boy George. First off, Michael Ian Black is not funny so just plain get rid of him. But Boy George, words cannot describe how he looks today. I couldn't find a picture to link to but take my word for it, it'll keep you up at night. (Shiver).
October 19, 2003: You know what I need to do? ....... My taxes.
October 16, 2003: Okay so maybe next year. Look at it this way, at least I don't have a rotting corpse tromping around my apartment mumbling "Where's Harry Carey?" or "Who the hell is Billy Corrigan? Where the hell is Harry Carey?" or "Ted damnit, where the hell is Harry Carey? Am I going to have to eat your brain... again?" "HOLY COW!" "Get off me Dad!" "HOLY COW!"
October 15, 2003: Oh man, I can't watch. It's not like I really care about the damn sport, it's one of the most boring sports ever. But still, the possibility still gets my heart racing. Of course the only reason I want them to go so bad is because they haven't since 32 b.c. I'll tell you one thing, if the do go I think that would be reason enough for my Dad to come back from the grave. I don' t think death could even stop him from getting tickets.
October 14, 2003: ES EH TEA YOU ARE DEE EH WHY NIGHT, ES EH TEA YOU ARE DEE EH WHY NIGHT! He's taking his date to a boat show. How the hell do you apply "Rock and Roll" to a boat show. He's gonna dance... at a boat show. The boat shows I've been to don't involve dancing or rock and roll. They involve people trying to sell you Flowbee® and GS27® Scratch Remover. And then there is that donut making machine in which you can watch the donuts actually being made and of course there is always someone there trying to sell guns. Boats and guns, a match made in heaven. Hey why not have a booth next to the gun guy with an open bar. Boats, guns and alcohol, sounds like a family reunion. Nasty women standing next to all the boats slowly waving there arms like Vanna White stand ins as a Ted Nugent look alike talks about the boat with too much enthusiasm. Anyways, back to the topic, what the hell kind of date is going on here. And he's going to tell her that he loves her... AT A BOAT SHOW? What kind of girl is taking on this date?. I hope he doesn't expect any action... at the BOAT SHOW. Wait a second, did he say BOAT SHOW or R-O-A-D SHOW?
October 12, 2003: So Celine Dion has a new fragrance out. What the hell is Celine Dion doing making perfume? Shouldn't she be focusing on her music? I know a certain someone who will be quite upset if she lets her music career slip because she's too busy making smelly stuff. Regardless, what's with making a perfume? What does it smell like? The perfume is called "Celine Dion", so does that mean it smells like Celine Dion. I would imagine that would be the case, therefore what does Celine Dion smell like (besides whatever perfume she wears)? She's French Canadian, so she probably smells like French Canadia, and what does French Canadia smell like? In my mind it smells like Mayonnaise therefore Celine Dion smells like mayonnaise. Thus Celine Dion perfume is just mayonnaise in a fancy spray jar. I think she's on to something.
October 10, 2003: Okay, so now he's the Governor. That's cool with me. I respect what he's done in the past with children's programs and such and donations to charitable societies. I mean, I would have voted for him if I had registered in time, but that's a moot point anyway. But now the hard part comes along. That's right, putting up with all the wise cracks that come along with it. For instance, "The Governator". How clever. Or "It was a 'Total Recall' ." That one I kind of like but still, it's not the fact that people are making them, it's that they will endure for the rest of time as we know it. We in California get made fun of enough as it is for being the crazy out there wild ones, but I'm just not sure how much of "He's gonna Terminate the budget!" I can take. I just hope he does a good enough job that people might actually not have as much of a reason to say these out loud. Or at least make them some what clever. Gary, better luck next time. Try Alabama.
October 3, 2003: After spending many an hour on trying to figure out a new scheme for the website, I've come to the conclusion that I have no idea how to do any of the things I want to do. So I've decided to invent a computer interface that connects to my brain and does whatever I think of. That would be so much easier. Of course I'm sure that slowly but surely the website would turn into a porn site. WHAT? I'm only human.
October 1, 2003: What the hell happened to August and September? I could have sworn they were just here. Wait, am I in the right place? Oh who am I kidding no one reads these things. I could babble on and on about buttermilk pancakes, licking 9-volt batteries, Smurfette's latest sexual encounter, the fact that every day a breathe in a little bit of Hitler and how that makes me want to retch, and why Mark speaks funny. But will anyone see it? I doubt it. Why? Well, maybe because I haven't updated this page or website in the last 2 months, but that's not the point, the point is, it's pronounced BEN not BIN, unless you are Mark in which case it is pronounced GERIATRIC PORNOGRAPHY.
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*daily does not necessarily mean "everyday"